Coach K had put together the perfect Duke team, the only piece he was missing was a great shooting guard. He had scouted all the high schools and even the junior colleges, but he couldn’t find the ringer shooting guard who would ensure a NCAA Basketball title.
Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Baghdad. In the background, he spotted a young Iraqi soldier with truly incredible aim. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th-story window from 200 yards away. Ka-boom! He threw another hand grenade into a group of 10 soldiers 100 yards away. Ka-blooey! Then a car passed, going 90 mph. He lobs one through the open sun roof. Bulls-eye!
“I’ve got to get this guy!” Coach K said to himself. “He has perfect aim and I can train him in the fundamentals of basketball!”
Coach K brings him to the States, teaches him the great game of basketball and Duke goes on to win the NCAA Basketball Championship. The young Iraqi wins the Tournament MVP and is named the AP Player of the Year. When Coach K asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call home and speak with his mother.
“Mom,” he says into the phone, “I just won the NCAA Basketball championship.”
“I don’t want to talk to you,” the old woman says, “You deserted us! You are not my son.”
“I don’t think you understand, Mother!” the young man pleads. “I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I’m here among thousands of my adoring fans.”
“No, let me tell you,” the mother retorts, “at this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week and this week your sister was raped in broad daylight.” The old lady pauses and then tearfully says, “I’ll never forgive you for making us move to Durham.”