Oldest son, who has this really bad habit of staying up late and playing all the requisite games to do so:
“So I was reading my puberty book, and I’ve gotta ask – what’s the deal with oral sex? That’s nasty”
“I got nothing”
Dad’s first thought:
“It’s a type of intercourse that some people enjoy”
“Have you ever done it?”
Memo to self: remove puberty book from son’s room
“And what is anal sex?”
Memo to self 2: teach son about not being so inquiitive
Son one last time (after the required clinical explanation):
Doesn’t it hurt?
I don’t know son – I imagine so.
Mom, do you know?
Memo to self 3: Brace yourself for the next 5-6 years